After an extended absence and much pestering by my husband to start writing again, here I am although I’m not quite sure where here is at the moment. I do know that somewhere along the way, I seem to have lost a lot of my simple joy in living and have fallen into a state of surviving which is a crappy way to go through an incarnation.
One thing I do know is that I am not depressed but rather in a state of transition I suppose. There are many mundane factors at which I suppose anyone could point a finger because so many, many things have happened in the past seven years culminating to this point right here. I have actually written what occurred several times, but I keep deleting it because it seems like to put it in writing somehow empowers it in some odd way. I think the more important point is where I am at the moment rather than rehashing events that brought me here, but every time I try to figure out where here is I just think about how I got here.
It’s not so much that I really mind “here”, but this place seems like some sort of limbo and it’s difficult to see which way to journey or travel. It is like walking in a thick fog on a road. No matter how far you walk or which turn you take, it somehow still looks like the same patch of road you started on. This is a crappy place to be in. There are no road signs and no directions.
Sometimes, something penetrates the fog and reminds me that there are things beyond the fog, but I can’t see the towns, the fields, the mountain, or anything else beyond the edges of the road. By the same token, I also know I could be closely passing by dangers as well.
Perhaps this has to do with more than just my life events and I wonder if the changes in the planet and star alignments are a major contributing factor. So many other people have expressed similar feelings and rather odd events occurring to them as well. Perhaps, the Goddess is shielding me during this period of transition until it is time for me to emerge again.
One thing I do know about the current flux is that magick is reawaking for us all whether we want to believe in it or not. People who have had an adamant disbelief are going to be sorely tested in many, many ways. For us in the Craft, we’ve trained to become aware of energies, essences, and spirits that have always surrounded us. It’s nothing new to us, but with a permanent thinning of the veil, so to speak, it is going to become readily apparent to even those that have never had the Sight. However, I’m a firm believe that some people will continue to claim such complete ownership of a state of denial, they will form their very own paradox. Sort of reminds me of some atheists that spend so much time preaching against the existence of any deity or higher spirit that they actually don’t see that they have made their own religion of non-belief.
Anyway, although I am in this weird limbo thing right now, I’m going to try writing again if not to guide me into a direction, then at least to keep my husband from pestering me about it.
Brightest of Blessings from a foggy place ~ Mead Muse